So yeah, okay, I didn't write anything all summer basically.
Nor did I update my journal.
(for the.... one?... of you that may read it)

I guess that kind of makes me a prick.

But now I'm back at school,
which means that I'm away from the girl I love,
which means I will write poetry to make myself feel closer to her.
So
In other words
more journal entries and poems to come.

Also I'm in a creative writing class again, so stories will come, too.

I also got my wisdom teeth out and afterwards had a seizure and passed out. Just fyi.
My face hurts.
And so does my heart.
I cried a lot leaving Zu Zu. How sad is THAT?! I miss my puppy, my mama, megan, rosie, jen, elena, kelly, and kal already. Plus the friends I made over the summer. AAAAHHHSADDAY.

but happy day too because I get to learn.
Ah, conflict.

I am officially a college sophmore. Weeiirrrddd.

Poetry coming soon.
Bear with me.

So today is the National Day of Silence, and of course I'm participating voluntarily...

but on a comedic note, I woke up this morning with laryngitis. I have never lost my voice before, ever.

I like the coincidence.

I'm not crazy anymore.

I also have lots and lots of different meds to keep me from being crazy.

Woohoo! I feel GREAT!

Now it's time to fix everything I broke whilst on my crazy spree.

Also, I applied for a job working for Air Traffic Control... hahaha. Good thing I'm only like twenty minutes from DIA!

New stories for Creative Writing coming soon. As well as poetry.


It's good being back.

I now know what it feels like to be crazy.

I am not going crazy, I have gone and went and become.

Right now is moment by moment. I can't tell you if ten minutes from now I'll still feel like me or even five minutes from now. Thirty seconds from typing this and I might be crying and having a panic attack. Or maybe just worrying. Or maybe I'll feel like me.

But I feel like me less and less lately. I feel most like me when I'm talking to JB, because she calms me down. But when I'm not talking to her, I worry.

Right now, this second, I feel like me.

But I'm crazy so I have no idea how long it will last.

I'm going to a psychiatrist wednesday. I need to switch my meds ASAP. Effexor is basically the worst drug you can take, because withdrawal symptoms and side-effects are terrible and last a while. They are: increased anxiety, increased heart rate, hypertension, paranoia, shocks through the brain, mental breakdowns, flu symptoms, and extreme exhaustion. So basically, I'm going to get a hell of a lot worse before I get any better. I may be committing myself and not returning to school until this gets better. But then again I may get better after wednesday right away. We'll just have to wait and see.

I'm experiencing the first four symptoms severely. It is quite fun. NOT.

I know what the male side of my family feels like now.