I wish that I could make
all the pre-wrap and
dried flowers and candles
and dum-dums
in my room and in my car
into the you I remember
so that when you leave me
I can pretend you're still here.

I wish that I could grab your hand
and pull you to me and
hold you and never let go
and make you know that
I'm worth it.
You can trust me.
I'm worth it.
It won't always be like this.
So that you won't leave
and I won't have to pretend you're still here.

I wish that the bear you gave me
and the t-shirt I sleep in sometimes
and the fan I used in college
could speak to me and tell me
what to do to make things better,
so I can still be with you,
be with you
so you won't
"try to fall out of love with me"
and you'll stay
so I won't have to pretend you're still here.

I wish that my necklace hadn't broken
so that you were still close to my heart
and still wanted to be close to my heart
but I took off the "tie" and inverted the symbol
because some things aren't right without you
and I want you to stay so I don't
have to pretend that you're still here.

I wish that I didn't feel like you
were scared and were throwing me away
because you thought I would break
my promises and not be for you
and lie and hurt you and lose my mind.
But you do, and I don't know if you'll leave me
and I'll have to pretend that you're still here.

I wish you trusted me.
I wish you wanted to love me.
I wish I was worth it.
I wish that it were true that you said I'm worth it.
I wish that I didn't have to make any decisions.
I wish that we can be together now and years from now.

But wishes rarely come true and
I'm starting to think that my
fairy-god mother has decided
that one year of happiness in my life
is all I get to experience.

I wish I had a genie to grant me more than three wishes.